Tag: Family

Deacons and their Wives

1 Timothy 3:8-13

It just makes sense that an overqualified servant would have a family that measures up to his character. Paul’s description of a deacon continues to include the deacon’s family and his perspective of reward.

The Deacon’s Wife

Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. 
1 Timothy 3:11

The presence of these qualifications for the deacons wife are a further indication of the importance of this office in the church.

The Deacons wife must be:

  • Grave: (Same as with deacons) honorable, viewing important things as important.
  • Not slanderous: She won’t tell lies about others to make people think badly of them. This slander would also include gossip.
  • Sober: She is well balanced, has a steadiness about her.
  • Faithful in all things: She is trustworthy and faithful. 

The Deacon’s Family

Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 
1 Timothy 3:12

He is to be the husband of one wife. A one woman man.

This verse compares interestingly with verses 4-5. Just as a pastor must have an orderly household, the deacon must as well. When a pastor’s kids aren’t terrors it’s one thing, but when the deacons kids are walking in God’s way the testimony of the church increases greatly.

The Deacon’s Reward

For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus. 
1 Timothy 3:13

A deacons service isn’t in vain. Those who serve well have received two things: “a good degree”, and “great boldness in the faith”. 

A Good Degree

The phrase “good degree” has the idea of a favorable rise in standing.

Though a deacons focus must be on true service, there will be a many who see that service and respect him greatly in it. The surest way to influence is through service.

In Matthew 23 Jesus taught about the importance of service.

10 Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.  
11 But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.  
12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. 
Matthew 23:10–12

Jesus words on Service show that the way to true greatness is through service.

Great Boldness

In this is think of Stephen and Philip. I also think of the many deacons I have known who have had great boldness in witnessing.

Just this last Sunday one of the deacons shared about the opportunities God has given him to witness in the last few weeks. These come only with boldness.

Boldness only comes from sincerity and confidence. The deacon who is true to who God has called him to be in and out of church meeting times and is grounded in God’s word will know great boldness in the faith.

Your Turn

Serve: Jesus called all of us to serve. You don’t need a special office. You don’t need a vote. Be a person of character, and serve.

Study: Search the gospels for where Jesus talks about service and greatness.

(Here are some passages to get you started: Matt 18:1-11, Matt 20:20-28, Luke 9:46-48, Luke 22:24-27)

Are you a deacon? Read and pray through this passage. God has given you a great opportunity in the place you serve. Seek only Him for the good standing and boldness.

Are you looking for a deacon? Consider the family of the man being considered before appointing him to this very important role.

Who’s the Pastor? (Part 2)

1 Timothy 3:1-7

Last week we looked at the desire for ministry and the needed character of a pastor. Today we’re going to carry that on into how that desire and character are applied and evidenced in their family, maturity, and testimony.

Family Life

A pastors family life shows just how well his character is lining up with the characteristics Paul gave in verses 2 and 3. Here’s what he says about the Pastor and his family:

4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;  5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 
1 Timothy 3:4–5

I am blest to be a PK. As a kid, I knew my dad wasn’t caught up in seeking his own glory. He always worked to lead us, my family and my church, to a real walk with God. This meant that we talked about the Bible like it was real and practical at home, and we heard the same thing from the pulpit every time the church doors were open.

How a pastor leads his family will show how he is leading the church. A man who doesn’t have his own house in order probably isn’t the best choice to lead a church.

Pastor, don’t lose track of how you are leading your family. This is one of the greatest ministries you have. 

Maturity

A pastor cannot properly lead a church if he is a novice.

Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 
1 Timothy 3:6

A novice is a new christian. There is NOTHING wrong with being a new christian! In fact I think some of us who have been saved a while could learn from the zeal of the newly saved. But that zeal isn’t always accompanied by the maturity needed to lead a church.

In this Paul is calling on the spiritually mature to pastor. The new Christian should learn and grow and be encouraged in his desire to be a pastor, but appointing him to that role before he is ready would lead to his own destruction and the harm of that local church.

Testimony

A pastors character, family life and maturity must be seen by the world outside the church.

Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 
1 Timothy 3:7

This refers to the reputation that a pastor has in a community, among unsaved people. How does he conduct business? Is he kind? Fair? What skeletons do they see in his closet that are hidden from those in his church?

Why does this matter?

Why would the opinions and perspectives of the unsaved world matter in a case like this?

Let me answer that with some questions. Would you go to a church pastored by a man who was given to road rage? who frequently broke “minor” laws to get what he wanted? Or, who had addictions he was unwilling to deal with?

My unsaved friends see all of these kinds of things in pastors as reasons to not trust churches and christians.

In short: Testimony matters.

Your Turn

Are you a pastor? 

Pay attention to the needs of your family. They are a precious responsibility from God.

Let your family and the world around you see you walk with God for real. Be the example of character and maturity that our world needs.

Are you called to be a pastor? 

Grow in your spiritual maturity. Read God’s word daily, memorize, meditate on it and apply it to the world around you. Make yourself accountable to a trusted friend, your pastor or others to growth and maturity. 

Maybe you are neither of the people mentioned so far.

Pray for your pastor. Your pastor needs your prayer and support.

Be your pastor’s encourager. Too often we criticize without any attempt to encourage. Don’t fall into this trap. As we go along there will be instruction for how to approach your pastor with concerns, and there may be a place for these, but in it all be an encourager.